What had begun as a simple night of underage drinking, out of tempo dancing, and crashing at a friends house had now crescendoed into the perfect storm.
Ben gave his rousing account of he and the rest of the culprits’ apprehension by the police. Apparently the Lower Alsace Nine had become bored waiting for myself and Kelly to come and get them. They took it upon themselves to leave the lake(amazing how a cloud of alcohol can impair judgment). They had stumbled their way through Stoney Creek and into the clutches of the LAPD(that would be Lower Alsace Police Department). Matt had been so drunk he was being helped along by our other Matt and Aaron. Ben and Hao had seen the spotlights searching out public drunkenness on the streets and made a quick plea for the others to scatter. Due to logic being notoriously absent from drunk people, the others ignored them and kept stumbling. Ben and Hao ducked into the night and behind some random citizen’s grille.
Ben and Hao then Ferris Bueller’d through Stoney Creek backyards until they were at Antietam High School. It was later recounted to me, by a qualified source, my group of staggering friends were making enough noise to rattle the China cabinets of citizens two blocks away. If their idea of blending into the shadows was registering noise to that of the work of demolition crews…job well done. The police spotted the group not far off of Parkview Avenue. Within moments our future valedictorian was being handcuffed along with three fifths of the varsity basketball team. Matt was whisked off to the hospital for an impromptu meeting with a medicinal stomach pump. The others had the pleasure of waiting for their parents at the police station.
Ben regained his normal breathing and I told he and Hao to wait outside at the gazebo until I get out. There was no point in them taking a risk by showing up at a dance with a blood alcohol level higher than their grade point average.
Just as the rumors of police, booze, my friends(It was a gossip storm. It was the type of rumor filled atmosphere where anything could have been said. It was rumored Mikey, from Life cereal, wasn’t dead, he was living with Tori Spelling.) began swirling around the water fountain and circulating in towards the dance floor Ben and Hao are standing next to me! So much for staying low.
Though their attendance at the dance initiated some unwanted interest of Mr. Fegely, our geometry teacher and the chaperone of this dance, luck had not completely deserted us. We apparently were not the only group that night to have a few cocktails before the dance. Though the name escapes me, I distinctly remember some over boozed girl laying siege to the toilets in the girl’s bathroom. Her vomiting along with the mass of girls both in and around the bathroom(even in sickness they go in groups) alerted Mr Fegely away from Ben and Hao’s overly minted breath and bloodshot eyes.
I stashed Ben and Hao into the deepest recesses of our gymnasium(which was exorbitantly large for such a small school) away from Mr. Fegely’s sight. I had focused so much attention to my incarcerated friends and the ones soon to be punished under Antietam jurisdiction I had almost forgot about the only reason I happened to be sober at this dance.
- Gentlemen, you will permit me to put on my spectacles, for, I have grown not only gray, but almost blind in the service of my country (and bald...and cranky...and out of shape...in the service of being a parent) - George Washington
Seek and Ye Might Just Find